


That Time Agathon’s Sister Dated Fish

by Anonymous



Category: Original Work
Genre: Dubious Science, Gen, Multiverse, Robots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-28
Updated: 2017-10-28
Packaged: 2019-01-25 10:21:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12529160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: aka Agathon Banneker Just and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.





	That Time Agathon’s Sister Dated Fish

Agathon was on his way to his office, hoping that no one would stop by for office hours and that he could use the time to grade exams today.  He checked his watch-- he even had time to grab a latte beforehand.  If he was particularly lucky, he wouldn’t run into any of his students on the way.

A laugh echoed down the hall, and he stopped cold.  He knew that voice.

“Thanks for showing me around,” the familiar voice said, an unfamiliar warmth in her voice.

“It was no problem,” Fish answered.  “I had a lot of fun.”

Agathon glanced around the corner.  Of course.

His older sister, Sosipatra, stood in the hallway, rather closer to Fish than most friends stood.  Sosipatra was, as usual, dressed in bright and whimsical colors.  This week, her hair had pale pink streaks in it.  She stood in marked contrast to Fish, dressed professionally in a black and white dress, her sleek hair pulled into a perfect bun.

Worst of all, they were blocking the way out of the building, and Sosipatra would have questions Agathon couldn’t answer if she saw him.  Like why he was in Taiwan and when he had learned to speak Mandarin.

Agathon pinched the bridge of his nose and slumped against the wall.  

“Dr. Just!”

It was Heather Kapisi-Moore.  One of his students and, unfortunately, also one of his neighbors.  Sure, she was good at talking her way out of a jam when evil elves or aliens or vampires wanted to kill them.  But she also seemed to think that should count toward her grade-- and her brother’s, since apparently they were a package deal.

Agathon stood, and reminded himself to be professional. “Yes, Heather?” he ground out.

“Can you look at my answers for Tuesday’s assignment and tell me if they’re right?”

Agathon sighed.  “I’m not going to do the work for you, Heather.”

“I just want to double-check, to make sure I’m on the right track!”

Agathon silently held out his hand.  Heather handed over a ragged stack of lined paper, heavy with cross-outs and smudges.

“This is Blake’s handwriting.”  Agathon gave her a dark look.

“We do everything together,” Heather said.  

Agathon really didn’t want any more information about that relationship.  But-- “Heather, you can’t--”

“Abby?”

Agathon turned, and tried to look surprised.  “Sosipatra!  What are you doing here?”

“What are _you_ doing here?”  Sosipatra punched Agathon on the shoulder, harder than he thought was strictly necessary, then hugged him.  

“I’m-- that is--”

“Oh, this is my girlfriend, Fish,” Sosipatra said, throwing an arm around Fish’s shoulders.  Fish blushed.  “But really, Abby, I thought you were still in America!”

“Abby?” Heather murmured, a disbelieving tone in her voice.

“It’s a temporary position,” Agathon explained, hoping she’d buy it.  “I’m just here doing some research.”

“You didn’t even call me?” Sosipatra demanded.  “I’m your sister!”

“I was going to!” Agathon insisted, strangely offended, even though he wasn’t, in fact, in Taiwan.

Sosipatra crossed her arms, and seemed to be about to start in on a lecture.  But she was interrupted by a shout from downstairs.

Clearly, he wasn’t meant to make it to office hours today.

“Shit,” Heather said.

“I am not dressed for this,” Fish said.

Agathon side-eyed her.  “Are you ever?”  Frankly, he suspected Fish spent most of her money on restocking her wardrobe these days.

Sosipatra looked between the three of them.  “What’s going on?”

Agathon ignored her, instead moving quickly toward the stairwell to the basement.  Fish and Heather followed closely behind him.

Agathon paused at the entrance to the basement.  The portal was glowing an ominous red, and Tom, with Teddy strapped to his chest as usual, had dived behind a washing machine to shield himself and the baby.  Uttara was in the middle of the room, using a wrench to fight off a giant robot.

“Seriously?” Heather said with a sigh.  “ _One_ robot?”

“Don’t jinx it,” Agathon growled at her.  He stood back, looking at the robot and trying to figure out how it worked.  Meanwhile, Heather charged past him and attacked the robot with what seemed to be a taser.  It wasn’t a bad idea, but there was no way that tiny thing had enough power in it to overload the robot, even if Heather could get to the circuits.  And that assumed that the robot ran on something recognizable, and not magic or alien technology or something.

Sosipatra creeped up next to him.  “What the hell is going on?”

Ah.  There it was.  A panel in the front of the robot.  Agathon dug through Uttara’s toolbox as he talked.

“Our building is built on top of a multidimensional portal, which Tom, Fish and I reactivated one night when the dryer broke.”

“What?”

“And now there’s a robot in here and we should probably stop it before it gets out and starts a rampage somewhere in our dimension.”  

“Abby, you can’t fight a giant robot!”

“Abby?” Tom said in disbelief.

“For Agathon Banneker,” Sosipatra explained, far too helpfully.  “A.B.  We all call him Abby.”

Tom looked far too gleeful at this information.  Agathon was just thankful that Heather and Blake were trying too hard to stay on his good side to tease him and Fish was-- well, she was hardly likely to tease anyone about nicknames.  

Agathon shoved that aside and pulled a screwdriver out of the toolbox.  Giant robots first, revenge on older sisters later.

“Keep it distracted!” he called to Uttara and Heather.  He ran toward the robot, and began trying to unscrew the front panel on the robot.  Of course, the screws weren’t any kind that he’d ever seen, and the robot kept moving, so it was slow going.  At some point, Fish found a makeshift weapon of her own and joined in with Heather and Uttara, while Tom helped from a distance, throwing whatever he could find at the robot, but allowing the robot to get within reach of baby Teddy.

Finally, he had enough of the screws off so he could see the circuitry of the robot.

“Heather!  Hand me your taser!” he shouted.

She handed it over, dodging a laser blast as she did.  Agathon wedged the taser inside the front of the robot and turned it on.  The robot jerked, then slumped over, apparently dead.  Or broken.  Or whatever robots did.

Collectively, everyone let out a sigh of relief.  Slowly, Tom stood up from his spot behind the washing machine.  Uttara kicked the robot once more for good measure.  Fish was already examining a rip in her stockings.

Slowly, Sosipatra turned to Agathon.  “Does this happen often?”

“This was the first giant robot, actually,” Agathon said.

“Since my taser stopped it, can I get extra credit?” Heather asked.

“Absolutely not,” Agathon told her.

Heather shrugged.

Sosipatra gaped at him for a moment, then she punched him in the shoulder.  Hard.  “You are the _worst_.  And you’re taking me with you next time.”


End file.
